MEET THE MAN WHO’S LYRICS SAVED MY LIFE: BLUE OCTOBER FRONT MAN JUSTIN FURSTENFELD
SIX YEARS AGO, I WAS IN A PIT. THE LOWEST I COULD GO.
After a 30 year marriage to a narcissist, I finally agreed to part ways. Little did i know I had suffered abuse by narcissistic women my entire life, starting with my mother who i thankfully cut ties 4 years ago. But that is not what i want to talk about here.
Right after the divorce papers were signed, I found myself sitting in a one bedroom apartment, alone, facing bankruptcy, my head spinning, but my friends were with me. My lifelong assistants Anxiety and Depression. I lost my father in 2008, the only person i really ever loved, and not having him to talk to, plunged me further into the abyss.
One morning, I sat with zero emotion or motivation for my job. It was all I had at the time to stay afloat, along with my two older awesome sons, who I could never replace. I sat. I felt nothing anymore.
MY EPIPHENY MOMENT
For no apparent reason I decided to look at music videos on my phone on Youtube. For no apparent reason i happened upon a video by a band called Blue October. It was called Light You Up, and it was performed live, for a DVD called Things We Do At Night (Live from Texas).
I have written a separate Roll Call on that song alone, but for now, lets just say i was stunned.
See the linked video.
I watched in awe. The power, the lyrics, the 100% pure emotion that burst forth grabbed me by my soul and shook me. How the hell did he know exactly how I felt? As a 51 year old man, a veteran at that, i teared up. I watched. I wiped my eyes. I couldn’t function. I left work early.
I went on to watch Get back Up, a movie about lead singer Justin Furstenfeld and Blue October. I also watched Things We Do At Night (Live in Texas), and every video of Blue October i could devour. I was seriously hooked.
The week after that I booked two tickets for myself and my youngest son to see Blue October Live for the first time in my hometown Buffalo, NY.
We had VIP tickets, and met the band for autographs before the show. It was hard for me to articulate to Justin how his lyrics and story changed my life. Like his story in Get Back Up, i decided there was no way I was going to lay down and die. I was going to get back up and live the best life ever!
I asked, “would you sign my arm?” He smiled and replied “sure, go find a marker! Stand over there, when I’m done with the line, I’ll come over…” I stood pen in hand. he came over. Signed my arm, which I later had inked on my forearm, and he snapped a picture with me.
My youngest son, had never heard Blue October before. He sat stunned in the back seat on the way home. “Well”, he finally croaked, “I guess I’m a Blue October fan now.
I ended up working on myself, my fitness, my own business, my personal trainer certification, and rebuilt my life, with Blue October as my soundtrack.
MY BLUE OCTOBER SOULMATE
I dated a Blue October fan, but that paled in comparison to the beautiful woman I call my wife now. She took one look at the Blue October pictures on my tiny apartment walls, and realized I had another man in my life. Although not sexual, and all joking aside, that man had appeared, his music and lyrics rocked my soul and gave me the inspiration to get back the fuck up and succeed. If Justin could recover from the darkest depths (see Get back Up) I could too. I had to!
I ended up marrying that beautiful woman. She became a huge Blue October fan, and we have been to at least 12 shows, from 2020-present. We meet with the band, and they know us every time we appear at a VIP or after concert signing. Hell, I showed up at a Toronto show dressed as the Rabbit from the Blue October video Down Here Waiting. I met guitarist Steve Schiltz outside the venue, he looked and burst out, “You’re that rabbit!” I will cover this event in full in a separate Roll Call. “You’re crazy, but you made my day.” Justin exclaimed. Job done.
Over the last six years Blue October just keeps getting better and better. And the main man behind the entire creative push is front man Justin Furstenfeld. I have written Roll Calls on all members of Blue October, but here I’m just shining a spotlight on Justin.
At one VIP meet, i asked him a question i just had to ask.
“Yeah, I have a question Justin…”
My hand shot up and I eagerly waited.
He looked dead at me.
“You sir, go ahead…Shoot”
I fumbled through my words.
I was speaking to someone who had changed my life,
I calmed myself and spoke clearly.
20 others listened. 25 including Justin and the band.
“Do you realize exactly what a huge positive difference your lyrics and music makes in the lives of thousands of people out there…”
Not hesitating he answered, “I don’t think about it, honestly there are still times I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see, so no…”
The answer was honest.
It was humble.
It was unexpected.
That is Justin Furstenfeld and Blue October.
Honest.
Humble.
Exceptional
Now, I’m not going into a full-blown history of the man himself here. See my other Roll Call on the band for that. Here I want to give a quick spotlight on this legend in the making. Why? Because he saved my life. Period. Drop the mike. End of.
WHO IS THIS GUY?
So just who the hell is this guy? What’s he about?
I’m not in his head, I’m not a relative, a close friend, counselor, or any other significant person in his life. I’m just a huge fan. But I am a rabid fan. A true fan, Blue October runs in my veins. Therefore, I want to paint a picture of this humble dude as I see it. As thousands of fans, I assure you see it.
Let it be not only an interesting take on this particular man, but a valuable Insite into how anyone can inspire, by enduring life’s storms, persevering, and coming out the other side stronger than ever. That anyone can be an inspiration and make the difference for thousands of other people.
Justin has. But he seriously doesn’t need recognition for it, or feel worthy of too much praise.
However, he should still be recognized, and they be praised, and we need to hear a little of his story. A story, which can be identified with, empathized with, and utilized to help others. And, if that individual has been given a gift, let say of creating lyrics and music…It’s inspiration on a whole other level. So again, what’s so special about this dude? Let me enlighten you.
In appearance, Justin does not tower, but is not small. Larger in the past, a side effect of unhealthy living, his girth has slimmed down. he admits walking regularly, taking his meds, and staying sober, one day at a time, have been the key. At under 200lbs he rocks his threads. He is like the combination of a member of the Smith’s, The Clash, and Skinhead chick all in one.
His hair changes like the seasons, however, the gelled back fade is his moniker. Blond highlights at times, invade his topping, but almost always return to conventional dark in a minimum of time. My wife thinks I’m jealous that he HAS hair. No comment.
His style is casual, dark dad, front man cool. Black is the order of most days. T-shirts, casual zip up sweaters, sublime leather jackets, all capped off with the coolest available sunglasses. Chuck Taylors, various cool sneaks often bedeck his feet, but the alternative-punk standard prevails: Doc Martin boots. I too, hold my Martin’s in great esteem.
INKED. LOCKED IN. KILLIN IT.
And the ink. If you are squeamish about ink look away. Body, arms, neck, hands, etc. Predominantly pop-art style. Colorful. Bold. Mostly with meaning. The iconic crossed out heart on his neck, became his record label’s trademark.
Its not all looks though. Justin has an outward charisma that is hard to be bettered. When he sings, he gives 100%, every time, all the time.
When he talks to fans, he looks them in the eye, and pays attention. Handshakes are firm, high fives genuine. His white smile is infectious. His eyes sincere. And fans sense this, and know he cares.
Which brings us to that one word again, I use to describe every member of Blue October. HUMBLE. He has often remarked to fans and media, that in his darker days of addiction, he was, quote, “an arrogant dick” to everyone. Recalling those times, it’s obvious that Justin reels a little at his own past arrogance and ugly personality. But he’s making up for it…big time. Every fan is valued, every person is equal.
He still joins his fellow Blue family members RIGHT after almost all of the October shows. Other bands disappear, never to be seen again, whisked away to get drunk or party. Not Justin, Not Blue October. Sat at the Merchandise area, he greets a line of hundreds one-by-one. NO sense of hurry. No arrogance, no signs of boredom. And every individual is paid attention to and spoken to, and fist bumped, high fived, or hugged.
Every item of clothing, V.I.P pass, set list, sneaker, and even body part (I have inked his signature myself) are gladly signed. Upon parting he always says thank you. Thank you to the fan. Sincerely and without motive.
THE HUMAN BEING BEHIND THE MICROPHONE
The recognition is there too. On stage and off. On stage he makes eye contact, recognizes the happiness, and joy the show brings to many.
He actually steps off stage and wanders the audience while performing without missing a beat. He hugs fans and sings face to face to many wheelchair bound, young, frail, male, or female, doesn’t give a flying fuck. All are equal in his eyes.
Off stage he eventually recognizes devoted show goers. My wife and I flew to Boise, Idaho to see them last year. Matt Novesky and Justin thanked us genuinely for flying from New York. After hearing how my wife had tricked me in a “Justin prank call” that morning, he gave her a big hug prior to our picture together. “I love you” he affectionately and jokingly remarked. Without any motive, other than express his appreciation for her sick humor. It made her year. Me not so much.
He makes the year for many people. He rides around on wheelchairs -if requested- by those confined, sitting on laps and bringing joy to many hearts. When he first saw my Air Force tattoo at my first meet and greet in Buffalo, 2019, he exclaimed, “I love that tattoo…” I thought it was just an empty, well-intentioned gesture. He then repeated looking at me, “No. I REALLY like that ink.” My first realization he was different.
His emotional insight into the human soul, married with what i believe is the best voice ever to grace music makes a powerful match.
At one show, my then 18-year-old son, who attends many shows with us, was recognized by Justin. At V.I.P picture time he looked up at my son…” Oh it’s you again!” He said tongue in cheek. Then he proceeded to put him in a friendly headlock like a WWF wrestler. That picture is on my boy’s wall.
People matter to Justin and Blue October. When people take the time out to create a special gift, or younger fans are present at meet and greet, he NEVER pays scant attention. They get FULL attention, pulled up on stage and most certainly hugged. It bolsters my faith in human beings when I most question that faith.
In Pittsburgh recently we bantered. My wife asked… “Can I tell you a story…” Justin smiled, recognizing us, then leaned in, “Of-course you can!” She replied, “We want our $6 dollars back”, joking, in reference to his rapid movie demise in under 3 minutes. (See link)
He laughed.
I thew out his one line as he paused in signing the ticket for me… “You hesitated…” He laughed again, surprised I remembered his one line.
Did the line for me in person – and gave a high five. It still tickled him that anyone notices, and exclaims “that was awful…” His foray into the acting world is legitimate and looks to have a great future. Playing great villains, he forever has movie fans in us. Again. HUMBLE.
Justin Furstenfeld and Blue October get as close as possible to their fans as possible. They are busy, successful, have families they miss while on the road. Spouses, significant others, pressures, and deadlines, but still, the treatment of fans are a priority.
He treats his band and all those associated, as family. On stage and off. He constantly laughs, gives accolades, kisses, and harasses his band mates. He appreciates and loves them all. Matt is his fragrant GQ bass player. Ryan is his Beethoven. Jeremy his brother and drum god. Steve his idol. There is zero doubt this is a family. A family feeling that extends to the fans.
His sense of humor is sarcastic. Dark even. Honest. Real.
NOT PERFECT
A rare shouting match broke out during one particular show between two women recently. Justin had begun the acoustic – “A Better Man.” He stopped the show eventually. Something I’ve never experienced. “Bring the lights up…” he said. Then squinting up at the top teer he exclaimed, “That’s OK, take your time, I didn’t mean to interrupt your fight with my song…” Security appeared. Problem resolved. The whole venue laughed. Then like a true professional, lights down, show back on.
Justin will be first to admit he is NOT perfect at all. Far from it. Like all of us, he is human. He confronts a daily struggle as many of us do with a dark cloud called depression. He stays sober one day at a time. He survived addiction and a bad custody battle. He moves forward, even as the storms of life at times kick his ass. He has endured it all. More importantly, it didn’t beat him.
Over the past six years he endured a unexpected divorce, his father passing away, but still worked his ass off, made exceptional music with lyrics that speak to the soul, and still made time to be there for his three kids. Justin wins each day, each hour, at a time. That shows me, and thousands of fans in similar predicaments, that they can and will too, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.
THE FURSTENFELD PHILOSOPHY
LIFE IS GOOD.
At shows Justin repeats this mantra from the heart.
ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN.
He means it.
STAY POSITIVE AND HAPPY.
He takes his meds, he takes his walks, he stays sober.
And finally the #1 Justinism?
DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT OTHERS THINK.
As he extorts in the Getting over it Part (live) video (link), “Get rid of those leaches in your life…”
So, when I mention Blue October and someone says, “Who are they?” I feel sad for them. If they say, “I watched a video, I don’t think much…”
I feel very sad for them. They just haven’t experienced Blue October properly. Or they simply don’t get it. More accustomed to clean commercially packaged pop…to each his own. Justin would say, “Don’t give a fuck what they think!”
But we get it. It’s a following. A sort of Blue October congregation. Ryan Delahoussaye once coined it the “church of Blue October.”
He wasn’t trying to commit blasphemy toward the religiously devout at all. He was just using the most apt and perfect words to explain this Blue October life.
Blue October Life? It’s the music, the lyrics, the videos, the shows, the podcasts, the pictures, the meet and greets, the social media, the fan connection, the personal interactions, and the pure escape and joy Blue October bring thousands every day. That is the Blue October Life.
FIGHTING HIS DEMONS, ONE DAY AT A TIME
And that life is championed and held together everyday by the entire band, but man is the conductor. Justin Furstenfeld.
With chords handed down from the vocal gods, with humbleness, compassion, charisma, personality, and an underlying fragility, he brings it all together. His music and lyrics has truly saved me from rock bottom (see epiphany) and changed my life. He has changed the lives of thousands of others, and still does. All while fighting his own demons and emerging the victor every damn day.
At the Boise meet and greet I approached Justin. I was kind of choked up. This 230lb gorilla of a fan, leaned in. I simply gave the guy a big hug.
He didn’t flinch or pull back. Security didn’t beat my ass, quite the opposite. He knew it was genuine. He hugged back. I told him, “Your music and lyrics have changed my life…”
This happens to him all of the time and he still appears with slight embarrassment when any praise is directed toward him. Always thankful, always responsive, but still finding it hard to accept. So, I want Justin to know something from all of us.
I want to say from the Blue Family, a truly sincere – Thank you – for everything you do.
Thank you – and never – never -stop.
Never waiver.
Stay sober.
Stay strong.
Stay positive.
Stay healthy.
Keep making music.
Keep hugging your fans.
Keep inspiring.
Most importantly, Keep inspiring.
Keep inspiring people to change their lives for the better.
You did it for me.
You do it for many.
“If Justin can do this with his life after going through numerous shit storms…I fucking well can too!”
It’s what you were put here to do.
It’s what you do.